Showing posts with label childhood. Show all posts
Showing posts with label childhood. Show all posts

Wednesday, April 1, 2015

Beautiful Dreamers


I have a secret...

I am a veteran dreamer. From way back. When I was in second grade, I was seated in the rear of the classroom at a separate table & told to color with crayons while the rest of the children learned to read. My teacher deemed me "simple" & unable to keep up with the class because I frequently appeared lost in thought, as though I'd traveled to another realm. 


And she was right. 


I was in another world. But what she didn't realize is that I was actually quite busy.


In my mind, I was visiting new lands & holding conversations with creatures who had wings & engaged in fascinating adventures that stretched the limits of reality. I remember how difficult it was for me to focus on rote learning, particularly since my mind was always spooling at the speed of light. By the time I turned seven, I had my subtle daydreaming technique down pat--all I had to do was fold my hands in my lap, tilt my head a bit & let my eyes drift to the side, and my spirit could escape from the classroom entirely. No one could tell I was lost in imagination, because I kept a vague smile on my face to make it look like I was listening. 




This habit had negative consequences on my school work, of course. And you might think I would have become discouraged by the teacher's assessment of my intelligence. I knew full well she thought I was dim, because another student came up & informed me that I was seated at the "dumb" table. The teacher heard her words & didn't argue.

Cool! was my reaction. I get to color! Not only did I get to dream, I could draw whatever I'd imagined & then take it home to show to my mother.



Thank God I had the kind of mother who always told me I was smart & creative! It never occurred to me to internalize anyone else's assessment of my abilities. And what my mother gave me, along with her consistent & enthusiastic approval for creativity, was her undying faith in possibilities that bordered on magic. While others might have recommended medication or behavioral therapy, instead she saw a little girl whose soul was big enough to try and embrace all the beauty in the world.

Now, in middle age, after finishing several college degrees, holding jobs, and checking off many things from my bucket list, I still find that the creative dreamer in me--that girl who loved to look at the world as full of wonders--is what I like about myself best. And I actually think it's what makes me the most beautiful inside. Forget the fact that I adore makeup, have too many shoes, and love to snag retro-bohemian clothes on eBay. What makes me feel the most luminous within is viewing life the way my mother taught me: As a world brimming with light, beauty & promise, where nothing is impossible.



And I have a confession to make: I see people that way, too. I get so excited when I meet everybody. They're all so beautiful! Each one a spark of energy I've never encountered before! In truth, I'm the kind of person who has to sit on her hands to keep from hugging everyone in sight--even strangers. Over time, I've had to learn to reign myself in because I scare people. A couple of my dearest friends "get it" & are gracious enough to run around with me in the woods every spring, hugging all the trees & greeting the new flowers. My little boys, of course, enjoy it too, and we prance through the forest crying "Welcome!" to every blossom we encounter. They're only here for a short time, don't you know? And surely they deserve to be celebrated. Especially with a lovely picnic blanket & tea set... 



So call me the April Fool & I'll wear the crown with pride. For me, this dreamy tendency makes each day enchanting. Like you, I continue to do laundry, go grocery shopping, cook meals, and fulfill all kinds of household & career obligations. But I never fool myself for a minute that such activities help me "get ahead." In my heart I'm already where I want to be. If I can run my hand through a child's silky hair, listen to his or her fanciful stories, feel sunshine warming my skin, smell new blossoms & hear the gentle rustle of wind through trees, I've "arrived". And as spring temperatures warm the earth beneath your feet, I hope you'll be foolish enough to take off your shoes & socks once in a while & feel its stirring beneath your toes, maybe even letting it trickle down to your soul. When you do, I hope you'll lie back on the grass & take some time out to visit with the most beautiful part of yourself--that part of you that knows how to dream. How to revel in the wonder & mystery of life, & how to let your spirit soar to wherever it wants to go. You never know, you might just find that it carries you to where you've always wanted to be after all...



Photo credit note: All images on my blog are either my own or were gleaned from pictures in the public domains of popular social networks like tumblr, facebook or pinterest. If you own the copyright to any of these images & do NOT want them used publicly, please contact me & I will take them down immediately! : )

Friday, November 1, 2013

Unexpected Magic


Autumn always feels like a miracle to me—the crisp air, vibrant leaves, and that lovely stillness that pervades the earth, bringing a sense of contemplation & subtle understanding of life's rhythm & mysteries. It's as though, with the leaves fallen from the trees now, life becomes more fundamental, and we not only can see beyond the former foliage of tree canopies, we can also perceive the bare bones of our lives. Nature reveals much in her stark beauty. As we head towards Thanksgiving & our thoughts naturally become more meditative, I love to step out into Nature as often as I can to let the earth speak to me. Since moving to Colorado a few months ago, I've been taking my family on hikes nearly every weekend on backcountry trails in the Rocky Mountains that often lead to an elevation of 10-11,000 feet.



When I breathe the air at these heights & see the glorious views, I feel deeply blessed & also content. Nature & healthy loved ones are enough. The beauty of the outdoors is enough. The fragrance of the pines & soft chortle of wild turkeys or the call of the elk are enough. It seems like blasphemy in moments like this to be anything but grateful for life, color, love, and the majesty of nature.

And it's funny, but in times like this—when my mind is at peace and I don't waste a single thought on what I "want" in this world—that's when it seems like I experience the most magic. Some people call it serendipity: that unsought moment when a blessings arrives, light as a feather, that seems to synchronize perfectly with the contentment you've cultivated in your heart. For me, a delightful example of this phenomenon occurred recently when I took my family on a spur-of-the moment hike on an unmarked trail near my property. It turned out to be far steeper than we'd anticipated, with extremely rough terrain that luckily rewarded us with spectacular views. And as we neared the top, my son (who is no stranger to a belief in fairies), called out "Look mom—a kite!"

Indeed, at the top of a mountain (that was almost 10,000 feet) lay a dirty Star Wars kite under a boulder that looked like it had seen better days long ago. But my son insisted that "The fairies must have left it for us!", so my husband decided to unravel its string and give it a shot. It took a bit of time to straighten out its mangled cross sticks, but before long, we hoped we had it in working order...


The wind began to rise, and with my heart in my throat, I watched my boys' anticipation as my husband gave a yank on the kite string. If only you could see the joy in my boys' faces as that kite began to soar! They squealed & laughed & skipped & chased after it as the sun glinted off their foreheads & the breeze tousled their hair. Nothing on God's green earth could have made them happier in that moment than flying that beaten-up, discarded old kite.




And I thought to myself, "This is what magic really is." A swelling in the heart at an unexpected blessing. A child's glee. Abundant sunshine on a mountain meadow. A fragrant breeze. Laughter that you could almost swear was punctuated by the giggle of fairies. Or was that angels? And it didn't cost a thing. Simply a belief that in that moment, life is abundantly beautiful—more than enough—and a flimsy old plastic kite & some worn-out string are all it takes to thrill your soul & fill you up with a magical memory you'll never forget.

Oh, did I mention that we hadn't sold our old house yet & were paying two mortgages, my car needed fixing to the tune of 1,500 dollars, I'd pulled a tendon that made hiking precarious, and the trail back to my house was so steep that on parts of it we had to slide down on our butts?

None of those distractions could water down the magic of that particular moment—because I refused to let it. Because if I've learned anything about magic, it's this: Magic exists in the NOW. It's up to us to notice it & let if fill our hearts when it comes our way.

May this Autumn season give you many opportunities to stumble into magic. And may you have the wisdom & openness of heart to recognize those unexpected moments when they alight upon your world : )

(Photo credit note: All images on my blog are either my own or were gleaned from pictures in the public domains of facebook, pinterest, or other popular social networks. If you own the copyright to any of these images & do NOT want them used publicly, please contact me & I will take them down immediately! : )